I have had the awesome privilege of officiating quite a few weddings! Marrying couples & participating in their ‘joyous vow declaring ceremony’ always leaves me with tears in my eyes and rededicating my own vows to my husband & our marriage of 27 years! It really is a blessing to marry couples for many reasons but my favorite reason is…… I love building relationships with the ‘bride & groom to be’ & to assist them in preparing for the wedding of their dreams! Relationships are fragile & they are the foundation of life in business, friendship & the mother of all…..marriage!
I have witnessed couples who have spent literally hundreds of hours preparing for their special day & need I say thousands upon thousands of dollars to have that ‘perfect’ ceremony that many brides have dreamed of since they were little girls. It is a big deal for many.
Having viewed this ‘fantasy’ come true (for a day , it is sad for me to say what I am about to say. Very few couples actually prepare for the day after the wedding. All this energy, time, focus and money poured into a one day event! Seldom do couples invest in themselves prior to their vow exchange & the months & years that follow. Some actually do a few premarital sessions with their pastor or officiant as it may be mandatory, which is good, yet, this barely touches on subjects as: finance, family of origin, communication, sex, conflict resolution, children & parenting, careers, and more!
With data thrown at us these days (this is the information era) we are without excuse! We know that over 50% of marriages are ending in divorce! The loss, the pain, the financial strain…….tragic! And a huge statistic of marriages that choose to remain ‘together’ are unhappy or have a religious belief that prevents them from divorce! Can you imagine existing in this state? I can’t.
My angle here today is to suggest, no, I implore couples to be smart, get smart, do whatever it takes to do the ‘work’ prior to saying ‘I Do’ in front of family & witnesses that cost your parents or yourselves an incredible amount of money. Let me give one piece of advise…….invest the entire journey of your marriage with coaching, tools, time away etc.
As an officiant I have used good tools in premarital counseling with the couples I have had the pleasure in marrying. There is no greater tool in my humble opinion that provides accuracy….. to understand yourself with the goal of understanding your significant other better than the NBI Brain Instrument! One of my personal goals in relationships and in my marriage relationship is peace & harmony…….I crave it, I need it, I love it.
The following saying is cute yet unfortunately true for many couples “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a
Whole Brain profiling will assist you and your significant other in all stages…..pre marriage, 5 years, 10 years, 25+ years! I know…….firsthand!